Cry-it-Out: Debunking Myths

Cry-It-Out is a hot phrase among parenting communities. With sleep training, of course, comes the question, “Are we making my baby cry-it-out?” While the method popularized by Dr. Ferber is usually the one people are referring to (also referred to as “extinction”), there are many different methods of sleep training your baby and, trust us, every single one involves tears.

The main methods of sleep training your baby range everywhere from putting your baby down and not picking them back up until 12 hours later, leaving for increasing intervals of time (also known as “controlled crying”), and the “No Cry” Sleep Solution (which, yes, does involve crying despite the title). With the variances all falling under a similar umbrella, people often have very strong opinions for or against them.

The opposing side typically follows the method of “Attachment Parenting” popularized in the Dr Sears book Baby Book. This involves babywearing, co-sleeping (definitely not recommended by the AAP for safe sleep), and “Nighttime Parenting”. His claim is that “letting your baby cry” may have lasting neurological effects. What Sears neglects to inform parents of is that babies cry for many different reasons, including learning a new skill. It’s hard to learn something brand new and for babies, most everything is brand new!

Carolina Dream Tree is a bit different. The long and short of it is there really is no hard-and-fast way to sleep train your baby without a few tears shed, despite what some branded methods claim. What do we do? We help walk with you through it. There is no “sleep magic” and there is no book, blog, or method out there that will work for each and every baby. By approaching your family with compassion, empathy, and experience, and treating your baby like the unique little human they are, we’re able to produce quick results with minimal tears in the most gentle way possible.

There isn’t an easy answer to the CIO (cry-it-out) question other than, no, we aren’t using a method of crying it out. Our goal is never tears, nor is it to leave a baby who needs something unattended. Our goal is to help baby learn to sleep independently while simultaneously helping parents recognize what cues they need to respond to and what cues are just a baby saying, “Hey! This is new!”

Hint: most of them are exactly that.

With a Certified Sleep Coach walking you through every single step, you’re guaranteed success and 11-12 hours of sleep for your baby a night! We make sure your baby is ready physically to learn and that you remember your baby is loved, cared-for, and safe. The magic key we bring to you is our support and expertise working with Charlotte families.

The bottom line is you need sleep to function as a parent and your baby needs sleep to develop properly. While a few tears may be shed, we’re highly skilled at making sure they’re minimized and the process is as gentle as possible. Trust us, the smile you see on your baby’s face after a full night’s rest? Worth every little tear.

Are You Making These 5 Sleep Training Mistakes?

The world of sleep training is vast and varied with opinions ranging from “never sleep train” to “you can’t sleep train too early” and everything in between. Across the board, though, we see some very common mistakes! Check out this list of the top 5 mistakes parents are making when sleep training their babies.

1. Starting at the wrong time.
   

The time to start sleep training is not when baby has anything going on that is less-than-normal. Often, parents deal with the restlessness of a developmental leap or tears of teething and it pushes them to begin sleep training out of exhaustion. The best thing you can do is help baby learn to sleep independently before these moments hit! Your baby should be without fever, healthy, and ready to drop down to one feeding a night. We recommend you clear this with your pediatrician before starting.

2. Not using white noise.

White noise is a trick of the trade for sleep experts around the world. By mimicking the gentle “woosh” sound that baby experiences while in the womb and giving baby’s brain something to focus on besides outside noise, these incredibly helpful machines do a wonder to help your baby fall asleep and stay asleep. Long story short? Use. White. Noise. (Trust us!)

3. Room isn’t dark enough.

Light synthesizes hormones in our brains that tell us to wake up so it makes sense that a light room would leave a baby wakeful and fussy. Using blackout curtains, shutting the door, and doing your best to make the room dark is a surefire way to set yourself up for sleep training success.

4. Bedtime is too late.

The thought process of “wear the baby out” during the day is actually backwards. Contrary to popular belief, the less sleep baby gets during the day, the less likely they are to sleep at night. The rule of thumb is “sleep begets sleep”. Setting baby’s bedtime at between 7 and 8 is helpful for making sure they don’t get overtired and, therefore, fussy and difficult to soothe. Bonus: it also gives you and your partner a bit more time to reconnect or you some much-needed alone time.

5. Doubting their baby’s abilities.

The main mistake we see made? Not trusting your tinies! We’re taught that babies are helpless. While that is true of brand new newborns, babies quickly gain skills left and right when left to their own abilities. We walk for baby until they’re able to walk, we feed baby until they can feed themselves, and we help baby go to sleep until they’re ready to do it solo. Give your baby a chance to show you exactly what they’re made of and trust that they can do it. We promise, you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

While there aren’t any hard-and-fast rules in regard to sleep training, there are some simple pitfalls you can avoid. When we’re working with Charlotte families to sleep train their babies, we make sure to guide them past these common mistakes and reintroduce them to their pillows.