The Secret to Sleep Success

So, your baby isn’t sleeping. Maybe you’ve resorted to swing naps, bouncing all night long, or trying to figure out how you can transform into a human that simply doesn’t need any sleep at all.

We’ve yet to find a way to not need sleep, but we have found a way to get your baby to sleep (and let you sleep in the process).

One-size-fits-all books just don’t work. The main downfall of them is they neglect to take into account one very key element of baby sleep. Your baby! The reason sleep books are a dime a dozen is because each baby is completely unique in what they need and each family is unique in their goals. A book can’t adapt to that, It’s just a set of rules, printed there in black and white. And if it doesn’t work?

Well, then we start to believe our babies just don’t sleep.

The truth of the matter is your baby can and will sleep. They just need the proper environment and coaching to do so. This could involve any number of situations that a book off Amazon just can’t account for. While the authors of these books may have some sound advice, they don’t know you or your baby!

Another little secret is this: “no cry” solutions just don’t work.

Nobody likes to hear their baby cry. We’re actually biologically programmed to respond to baby’s cries. Studies have found that the effects of a baby crying on a parent’s brain is similar to them being electrocuted. Feeling a little shaky after a long cry session with baby? That’s why.

While crying can signal that something is wrong with baby, it also is the only way they have to communicate with us. What they’re trying to communicate is not always something that needs fixing. Imagine being a brand new baby, unfamiliar with the entire world. They have a lot of learning to do. With that learning and frustration comes tears. These aren’t necessarily tears that need to be addressed, simply a baby communicating that something is different and unfamiliar.

Babies often cry when they want to move but are unable to, for example. During tummy time, many babies get annoyed and frustrated because they can’t roll or move. They may cry but this isn’t a danger or pain cry, it’s simply them communicating, “Hey! I’m pissed!”

The same happens when babies begin to learn how to sleep independently. They get frustrated. That doesn’t necessarily mean we need to run to assist them, though. Letting them learn on their own is a great way to help them establish healthy sleep habits for the rest of their lives.

The secret? Your family needs a customized approach combined with support.

We’ve cracked the code. By using an approach that is custom-tailored to your baby, your family, and your goals, we’re able to create a plan that is unique to you. We sit with you, learn about you and your baby, see your space, and devise an all-encompassing plan including how to reset during bumps in the road. Carolina Dream Tree is with you for 72 hours, walking through each naptime and bedtime. We’re helping to reassure and give guidance as you and your family adjust to your new normal (11-12 hours of baby sleep a night!). We offer support in the weeks following and guarantee results.

By using this method, we minimize tears and maximize success!

We leave our clients well-rested and ready to help their baby continue to develop their newly learned skill through illness, travel, and any other curve balls life may throw at them.

The secret is that there isn’t one secret. It’s a customized and supported approach to baby sleep.

How Much Sleep Does my Little One Need?: Sleep from Birth to 3 Years

It’s no secret: kids need sleep. While your child’s needs will change over the years, the fact remains. As sleep experts, we’re often asked “how much sleep is too much sleep?” along with questions about what naps and nighttime should look like. Never fear, Carolina Dream Tree is here with answers!

Birth - 4 Months

You’ll find your newborn sleeps a lot. They may wake every 1-4 hours to eat, which will stretch as they get older and are able to eat more. Night time stretches may be a bit shorter but will extend.

Total Needed Sleep: 16-18 Hours

Hours Spent Napping: 7-9 Hours

Hours Spent Sleeping Overnight: 8-9 Hours

Total Number of Naps: 3-5

4 Months - 1 Year

Your infant still needs a good amount of sleep but you’ll find they fall into longer stretches of sleep with periods of being awake to play during the day and longer stretches of sleep at night. Your baby is capable of sleeping through the night around 4-6 months.

Total Needed Sleep: 12-16 Hours

Hours Spent Napping: 4-5 Hours

Hours Spent Sleeping Overnight: 9-10 Hours

Total Number of Naps: 2-3

1 Year - 2 Years

Your toddler needs less sleep total but definitely still benefits from daytime naps. You’ll find they take 1-2 longer naps during the day and should be sleeping through the night.

Total Needed Sleep: 11-14 Hours

Hours Spent Napping: 2-3 Hours

Hours Spent Sleeping Overnight: 11 Hours

Total Number of Naps: 1-2

2 Years - 3 Years

Between 2 and 3 Years of age, your little one may drop naps completely! Make sure they still get a restful period of time by encouraging them to read or draw quietly in their room in the middle of the day.

Total Needed Sleep: 10-13 Hours

Hours Spent Napping: 0-1 Hours

Hours Spent Sleeping Overnight: 10-13 Hours

Total Number of Naps: 0-1 (Varies child to child)

While sleep does vary from child to child, there are things you can do to encourage longer stretches of sleep at night once your baby reaches 12 weeks of age. Helping them self soothe and sleep independently is a great idea and can set them up for a lifetime of healthy sleep habits.

Not sure where to begin? Send us a message and we’ll help determine the best course of action for your unique little one!

Lack of Sleep and Postpartum Depression

It’s the age-old question asked by well-meaning friends and family members to nearly every single new parent…

“Are they sleeping through the night?”

This question has the best intentions but often leaves parents feeling the worst. It causes them to doubt and worry. They often turn to Google, Pinterest, and Mommy Groups on Facebook to ask…”What is wrong with my baby??” and are met with, “Nothing! No one sleeps through the night!” While this may make them feel a bit better for the moment, they’re still behind on sleep and waking frequently with a crying baby.

Your baby waking multiple times a night may be common but common doesn’t necessarily mean normal.

Sleep Deprivation and Response Times

It’s well known in the medical community that lack of sleep impairs cognitive function. Studies have been done where subjects are deprived of sleep and then asked to take a test. The results are shocking. Critical reasoning, logical reasoning, simple reaction times, and decision making (among other things) were all impaired. While you may not be operating heavy machinery on a daily basis (or maybe you are!) you still need these vital skills in order to function every single day. Even parents who stay home need to make decisions using reasoning for their babies.

Sleep Deprivation and Emotional Wellness

New parents lose on average 44 days worth of sleep in their baby’s first year of life. This ends up being about 5 hours a night for an entire year. This huge deficit in sleep can be a huge element in your emotional wellbeing. It’s been documented regularly that lack of sleep can be a contributing factor for Mood and Anxiety Disorders among parents. In addition, research has emerged that lack of sleep lends itself to overly emotional reactions. The part of the brain that responds to things emotionally (the amygdala) and the part that controls it fire in such a way that everything seems important, leaving tired humans unable to ignore things that normally wouldn’t upset them (like a crying baby or a dirty house).

While there are very few things we can do to get brand new babies sleeping more (they need to eat!), older babies have often been conditioned to wake out of habit. While you have a newborn, you can get more sleep by pumping or bottle feeding and allowing your partner, a family member, or a Postpartum Doula help take over feeding baby at night, making sure you nap during the day, and having baby sleep in a bassinet in your room so they are closer.

Older babies, however, are typically ready to sleep through the night by 12 weeks of age. Once your baby is ready to sleep through the night, helping them learn to sleep independently is one of the best things you can do for both them and yourself. Think of it this way: when you’re waking on average every 3 hours you’re not getting sleep, you’re napping. Losing that much sleep lends itself to mental illnesses and emotional distress as well as a whole host of other health issues. Humans need sleep! Enough with the Martyrdom Parenthood...you need sleep too! It may be common for babies to develop poor sleep habits but that doesn’t mean it’s something that should be considered normal.

Your baby needs rested parents. Get the rest you need, help your baby learn to sleep independently, and be the best parent you can be.

Why Your Sleep Training Books Aren't Working

You read the book. You followed the list. You got all the “recommended items” listed in the end of the book. You took notes.

WHY ISN’T YOUR BABY SLEEPING?!

Take to mommy groups or Google and you’ll find recommendations for no less than 7 different books claiming to help your little one sleep better in different amounts of time. Why so many different recommendations?

Simply put, they don’t work.

Books may be good for giving ideas but in order to customize an approach that will work for your baby you may need to read all 7 recommendations you were handed on Facebook and piecemeal a recipe that works.

First of all, who has time to read all those books when you have a baby that isn’t sleeping? You’re just trying to lay down for any amount of time. Your free time needs to be spent getting rest.

Second of all, the recipe will be different and it will take who knows how long to land on the exact right method. Again...who has that time?

In the time it takes you to read all the books and create a formula through trial-and-error, we could have had your baby (and you!) sleeping.

No joke.

The problem with your books is two-fold and we’ve addressed these exact issues with our method.

Problem 1: One-Size-Fits-All

The books approach baby sleep assuming some accurate scientific facts: all babies need a similar range of sleep and there are some biological truths that hold for all humans. They don’t, however, take into account your baby’s temperament, your family’s space, your needs, or your personal goals. Of course the ultimate goal is “sleep” but that looks so different for every person. A book can’t adapt or tailor your approach. It’s there, unflinching, in black-and-white.

Problem 2: Lack of Support

Simply put, your book isn’t going to wake up with you when your little decides they want to party at 3 AM. They aren’t going to be there with you while you roll out of your warm bed once more to soothe and comfort the baby you’re trying so diligently to help sleep on their own. They won’t be there to hear the cries on the monitor and guide you through exactly how to do it. You don’t have someone who comes alongside you and figuratively (or literally) holds your hand through each attempt.

Your books don’t work because you’re missing the human element of sleep training. You’re missing the customized approach with the human support. Carolina Dream Tree won’t leave you when the going gets tough and we certainly aren’t just words on a page. We’re skilled, trained, and experienced, ready to be there with you through each step in the process of getting your baby to sleep.

Mystery solved: your books don’t work and that’s why.

Sleep Training when Life Falls Apart

You’ve successfully gotten your baby sleeping in their crib, through at least a portion of the night. Awesome! Well done!

Now, of course, you’re worried to change….anything...but life happens! How to keep your baby on a great schedule through the twists and turns of it all? Buckle up, we’ve got tips.

Keep it Dark

When traveling, staying in a different place, or baby is sick, it’s important to keep their sleep area dark. This is usually pretty second-nature (we sleep in a dark room) but there’s science behind it too! Our brains produce Melatonin to help us fall asleep and stay there. We’re programmed biologically with what’s called the “Circadian Rhythm” which basically means our brains want to sleep during the night and be awake during the day. In order to use that programming to our advantage, putting baby to sleep in a dark room will help their little brains to fall into what they naturally want to do. It will also help with the production of Melatonin, helping them to stay asleep.

Keep it Noisy

Okay, not noisy but keep White Noise! This is a surefire way to help your baby lull back to sleep like they’ve learned to do. White noise works to block out noises that may occur outside baby’s room as well as give their brains something to focus on to help them calm down. (Hint: it works well for adults too). White noise also can help imitate the comforting “woosh” sounds they heard in the womb, adding to the layer of comfort.

Keep it Consistent

Your bedtime routine is working and you know what they say. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Continue consistently with the routine you’ve set in place to help smooth over the transition. No matter if baby is sick, has just received shots, or is traveling, your routine should help signal to them that it’s now time to sleep (and stay there). This is why we recommend a simple routine, one that can easily be done anywhere you are. Consistency is key!

Keep Going!

Keep going through any setbacks. Baby may wake and fuss a bit but it will likely be much, much less than before they learned to sleep on their own. By reinforcing their comfort techniques (white noise, bedtime routine, dark space), you will have baby soothing themselves back down fairly quickly. Remember that sometimes even adults struggle to sleep outside of their normal routines or space and it’s completely normal for there to be some hiccups here and there. Keep going through them and support the sleep you know your baby can achieve.

Basically, life happens! And even though life happens, we still need sleep. By remaining consistent with everything you’ve done to help establish the healthy sleep habits your baby has learned, you’ll have a significantly easier time helping them fall and stay asleep through illness, shots, and company. Whatever life throws your way, wishing you happy and healthy sleep!

4 Month Monsters: The Dreaded Sleep Regression

Your newborn comes home, all snuggly warm and makes it a habit of snoozing for most of the day. Brand new babies sleep 18+ hours a day, often dozing between feeds for a couple weeks. As you celebrate your very sleepy baby, your well-meaning sister or aunt jumps in with, “Just wait until the 4-month sleep regression….”

We’re sure you’ve heard it everywhere. On Facebook, websites, in passing conversation...at 4 months old your darling, sweet, sleeping baby will turn into a growling, angry monster that never sleeps.

What if we told you the 4 Month Sleep Regression was a lie?

Well...okay, maybe not an all out lie, but more of a misconception.

As your baby grows and develops, you’ll notice changes left and right. New movements, noises, and schedules will emerge as your little one grows up right before your eyes. As babies grow so do their brains. They require different things and as they grow, their sleep patterns will inevitably change. One of these very expected changes is an increase in the time your baby is awake. They’ll become more alert, more aware, and...well, more wakeful.

The 4 Month “sleep regression” is really nothing more than a developmental milestone. It’s less a regression and more of a progression in your baby’s journey to grow!

Carolina Dream Tree Saves Charlotte: Sleep Coach to the Rescue

It’s an epidemic among new parents.

They’ve all lost something. Something very, very precious to them.

Sleep.

Across Charlotte, North Carolina, parents of small babies are desperately looking for the rest they seem to have misplaced.

Most families have noticed a shocking correlation with the arrival of their newborns.

As we have watched exhausted parents push their baskets through Target in search of coffee and some Dollar Spot decor they definitely don’t need, we knew we needed to step in.

Where is the sleep? We wondered.

Brilliant news: we found it.

The sleep new families have been missing for months was right under our noses the whole time (and we have the secret to bringing it back)!

Carolina Dream Tree brings a simple, custom, and effective method to you. We help you reclaim the restful nights that seem just a hazy daydream and make them a reality in your house.

First we assess your family’s needs in a phone call that can only be described as “thorough”. We walk through your goals, hopes, dreams, family dynamic, and just what it will take to get your baby loving their crib. Families who complete this call feel a huge sense of relief and direction.

We then schedule your sleep coaching and come to your home on those dates. In just 72 hours (usually over one weekend) we will bring a plan to you created specifically to get your baby sleeping independently. We’re with you through each naptime, each bedtime, each and every stir you hear on the monitor. We help create an environment that supports your baby learning how to fall asleep (and stay asleep) and walk with you, step by step.

Once your baby is successfully sleeping 11-12 hours a night, the support isn’t over. We’ll leave you with a plan going forward, a phone number, and an email where you can reach us over the next month. There will be bumps in the road but, rest assured, those are learning experiences and actually great things! They’ll set baby up for a lifetime of healthy sleep habits.

Sleep affects everything! From mental health to healing and development, your whole entire family needs sleep. Carolina Dream Tree has gone the extra mile to make sure that our Charlotte families have a sleep coach here that supports their unique baby, family, and lifestyle.

End the battles surrounding sleep and get back to your life!

If you’ve had it with sleepless nights are are ready to reconnect with your pillow, connect with us and schedule your sleep assment call. We can’t wait to speak with you!